Friday, September 30, 2011

First Ballet Class

Harper had her first ballet class today! It's a mommy and me class with the Lubbock Parks & Rec. She was hungry and tired which made for a really fun time. :)

On the way
There was a lot of this.....along with whining and crying.
Slowly starting to warm up when the class was almost over

VERY excited Miss Abby gave her a sticker after class

Harper with her teacher Miss Abby
Sarah Jane, Corley, and Harper
TTC Update:
CD 20: Started 200mg of Progesterone/day 9/27/11

The progesterone has started to make me feel pretty sick with vomiting and hot flashes. It isn't pretty but necessary. My progesterone level is too low and doesn't rise normally on it's own like it is supposed to after conception which may have been the cause for my miscarriage in 2007. I started this same dosage with every cycle of clomid before I conceived Harper. The exciting news is if the egg was released and fertilized, implantation should occur 10/03/11 and can start testing on 10/07/11.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

23 Months!

To my sweet Harper Reese,

You are 23 months old! I feel like you are growing up way too fast these days. Every day you learn a new word, and you are starting to put words together. This past month you started preschool, and you are finally getting to the point where you don't cry when I drop you off! You love your teacher Mrs. Lara. She loves you like her own, and I am so thankful for that. It makes me not have to worry so much while you are at school.

We have started going to church on Wednesday nights at the same church where you go to preschool. You seem to really love it. Tonight, your teacher informed me you said the word "bible." That makes my heart happy. You also love to "read" your little bible at home and point to baby Jesus and say His name.

You have started to randomly sing songs. This started once you were going to preschool. I love it! I have NO idea what you are singing, but it's still cute. You recently made an apple book at school and constantly talk about apples all of the time. It cracks me up. One day you brought an apple home and acted like it was your best friend. You even slept with it! Silly baby.

We are quickly approaching your 2nd birthday, and I have so many mixed emotions. I LOVE watching you grow and learn, but in the same breath, I don't want you to grow up! You will always be my baby no matter what. I still remember the exact moment I saw your sweet face. It was the most unfathomable, surreal moment. You let out the sweetest little cry, and I couldn't believe you were mine. Forever. Why did God trust me with such a precious gift? I may never know.

There are a lot of things happening in your last month as a 1 year old! You start tumbling class tomorrow and ballet on Friday. I'm pretty sure it will be the cutest sight I have ever seen. In a few weeks, you and I will be going to homecoming at ACU! You will get to meet some more of mommy's friends and some potential college roommates. :) The week after homecoming is your birthday party! You are one lucky little girl to have so many people love you. How couldn't they? You are a pretty cute kid. The Friday after your party, you will officially be 2 years old at 8:04 am on October 28th.

You are the answer to so many prayers and my miracle baby. I hope you grow up knowing how much your daddy and I love you. I promise you there will never be a day when I don't tell you "I love you."
Happy 23 months, sweet girl.

Monday, September 26, 2011

South Plains Fair

Michael took the day off so we could go to the fair. It's free parking and entry before noon, so we couldn't pass that up! Who could pass up the awesome fair food anyway?!

There were camel and pony rides, but I do believe stinky would have freaked.

Right as we got to the petting zoo, they were starting the cow milking presentation!

Daddy and Harper

Sweet SJ!
Squirting the milk.
Hooked up
"You seriously want me to touch this goat?"

Whining while we waited for lunch
Asleep within a couple of minutes
In other news.....I love Pinterest. I may or may not be addicted. It's hard to tell. I found the CUTEST Halloween costumes on there! They were SO easy to make! I LOVE how they turned out!

Queen of Hearts

Sunday, September 25, 2011

My Ovaries are Lame.

One of the downsides to taking clomid is it causes my ovaries to hurt. BAD! In addition to them being covered in cysts, they swell and cause a constant pain in my abdomen until the egg is released. It lasted two days. It was horrible! I forgot about this part! It's kind of like forgetting how miserably sick and tired I was throughout my entire pregnancy.

Here are some of Harper's latest pictures. Friday morning we met some friends at the park for a play date!

Seriously, I love this kid.

TTC Update (Based on 30 day cycle):
CD 15: Positive Ovulation 9/24/11
CD 28: 50+% Positive Urine hCG 10/07/11
CD 29: Expected next period 10/08/11
CD 31: 95+% Positive Urine hCG 10/10/11

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Our Road to Pregnancy

I am pretty sure Michael and I talked on our first date about wanting to be parents someday. Not so much with each other ( was our first date!) but just shared that desire. I have wanted to be a mom from the time I knew what that meant. When Michael and I got married in December 2006, he still had a few years left of school. We weren't trying to get pregnant, but we also weren't preventing it. After a little over 6 months of marriage, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back to sleep. I got up to go to the bathroom and decided to take a pregnancy test. Honestly, I have NO idea what would possess me to do that in the middle of the night! I left it in the bathroom, got on the computer, and forgot about the test all together until I went to use the restroom one more time before trying to get some more sleep. There was the test sitting on the counter...with a VERY obvious plus sign. I was in complete shock and started to panic a little. By this time, it was around 4am and Michael was obviously dead to the world. I shook him a little, he moaned, and I said, "Umm baby? I think I'm pregnant." He rolled back over and started snoring again.

The next couple of weeks were a blur. I blurted out to the whole world who would listen that I was going to be a mother. Something I had waited my whole life for. I went in for my first ultrasound when I was 7 weeks because my HCG levels were low. I had NO idea what that meant and therefore wasn't concerned. We had the ultrasound, and they determined I wasn't as far along as I had thought (or so they thought). A couple of days later, I got really sick and couldn't keep anything down. I started spotting. I called my OB's office, and the oh-so-awesome nurse told me they couldn't get me in but to go to the walk-in clinic. Why I didn't go to the ER when I started spotting, I am not sure. I got to the walk-in clinic, and they immediately sent me to the ER. For some reason, I was relatively calm through all of this. Michael and I got there, they gave me 2 bags of fluid and sent me home with an ultrasound appointment the next day. The ultrasound tech looked at my uterus, did some measurements, and announced she was going to call my doctor and would be right back. At this point, I started to get nervous. She came back into the room a few minutes later and said I had an appointment with my OB at 1:00 that same day. I remember asking her questions, but she wasn't allowed to answer them.
We later found out at the appointment that my body was in the process of a miscarriage. I was devastated. What could I have possibly done wrong to cause this to happen? This is what was going through my head at the time. Obviously now, I know there's nothing that could have been done differently. I miscarried a week or so later at my sister's her guest bathroom. I picked up the little grey colored sack out of the toilet and asked my oldest sister (who had miscarried before) if that was in fact my baby. It was. From the beginning of the spotting until I "recovered" from the physical trauma, was three weeks. I missed three weeks of work because I lost my first baby.

I didn't think I would ever be the same. My doctor told me to wait at least 2 months before trying to conceive again. After unsuccessfully trying to conceive on our own for 6 months, I went back to my doctor to see what the next step was. For multiple reasons, I ended up switching doctors after this meeting. Michael and I met with my new doctor and after some tests, he realized I had severe PCOS. He immediately started me on progesterone to regulate my cycles. I started 50mg of clomid for 5 cycles with no ovulation. He increased it to 100mg of clomid for 5 more cycles, also with no ovulation. By this time, it had been 16 months since we had miscarried. My doctor decided to combine the 100mg of clomid with metformin (which is actually used for diabetes). He explained to me that the combination of these 2 medications can help women with PCOS to ovulate. Well, after my first round of the combination, I ovulated. I didn't conceive on that cycle so we went a second month on the combination.

It was the day I was supposed to start my period after the second round, and I felt SO sick. I thought for sure I was pregnant. I was coaching/teaching at the time and ran home during lunch to take a pregnancy test. Negative. Really?! I was SO sure I was pregnant. A week later, I was still feeling really sick and was SO tired. It was a Saturday, and Michael was at work. I had to run to the grocery store to get a few things and decided to just grab a pregnancy test just for the heck of it. I still hadn't started my period, but since I had already had a negative pregnancy test, I expected this one to read the same. I got home and took the test. To my complete shock, it was positive! I called Michael and said very calmly that I took a test, and it was positive. I don't even remember his response, but when he got home we were both so happy.

My pregnancy was filled with a lot of sleeping, vomiting, dehydration, and mild contractions. It was wonderful. :) On October 28, 2009, we were blessed with the most precious baby girl. All of the pain from the miscarriage seemed to disappear, and my heart felt whole again. No one can possibly understand this joy unless experienced first hand, whether that baby was formed inside you or formed inside another body and handed to you to be yours forever.

Now we are rapidly approaching the celebration of a TWO year old. How can this even be possible? She is the sneakiest little mess I have ever met. Miss Harper Reese, I love you so much. You were worth the wait.

Now that I am quickly nearing 30 with Michael 3 years older than me, we have started down this same road again. We have always had the desire to have more than one child. I am right in the middle of my first round of the combination of 100mg of clomid and metformin. I wanted to write this to give hope to those of you who may still be waiting for that first child. I want to share our journey of trying to conceive a second child and selfishly ask for your prayers as well. I am very nervous to put myself out there like this, but that's the purpose of a public blog, right?

So here are my stats of now:
CD 1: 9/8/11
CD 5: Beginning of clomid 9/12/11
CD 9: End of clomid 9/16/11
CD 14: Expected ovulation 9/21/11 (Negative)
CD 28: Expected end of cycle 10/06/11

Friday, September 16, 2011

One of These Days

There's been so many things weighing on my mind lately and can't quite sort it all out.

  • I think Harper will benefit and learn so much from being in preschool, so why do I feel guilty putting her in a 2-day a week program if I am able to bring her to work with me? I don't know what my problem is!
  • I want to be able to find "that place" to raise my family. You know, the place you have thought about since you were little. The place where your kids will grow up then come back to visit when they're in college, married, and have their own kids.
  • I want there to be a church Harper will grow up in and refer back to when she's older.
  • I want to be a more patient wife and mom.
  • I wish I had the time to have dinner ready when Michael gets home from work.
  • I want Harper to have a sibling to grow up with and love. And when is the right time for this?

Then at the end of the day, I tell my sweet husband I love him and kiss this precious baby goodnight. At the end of the day, I'm thankful for what I have right now in this moment.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11: We Will Never Forget

I was a sophomore in college at ACU. I remember being dismissed from my 8:00 Environmental Science class early and expected the campus center to be pretty empty. I remember walking in and thinking it was really weird that so many people were watching the news on the TVs. I stopped to check out what the big deal was just as the plane flew into the second tower. We all just stood in shock and horror. We were all so confused and didn't really know what was going on. Chapel that day was spent in prayer for our country, our friends, our family, our neighbors, our president....I remember at multiple points throughout the day being so scared, crying, and sitting in my dorm room with my roommate, Tara, glued to the news on the TV. I will NEVER forget that day and the people who selflessly died out of innocence and courage. I pray their sacrifice will always remain such an important part of history.

There's a park in Lubbock that puts up flags as an American tribute to the 9/11 victims. I pray Harper will grow up knowing our stories from this day ten years ago.

Flashback to 2010
Michael was stationed at Travis AFB on 9/11/2011. His grandfather died two days later and had to take a bus from California to Texas since all flights were grounded. A couple of months later, he was deployed. I love that Michael will be able to tell Harper these stories. She'll be even more proud to call him her daddy.

To all of the victims, their families, their friends, the first responders, and the military...I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We will never forget.

Apple Butter Festival 2011 (and a flashback)

We headed to the Apple Country orchards today for the Apple Butter Festival! It was so hot, so we didn't stay very long. We made it long enough to (try to) feed the goats and sheep, ride the hay ride and pick a couple of apples.

Apparently, the goats and sheep busted out of their pen Friday night and had their fair share of apples from the orchard. They weren't very interested in the feed.
Flashback to 2010!
Harper was fascinated with of the "bapples" everywhere!
Admiring her pick
This was after about 20 minutes, and her cheeks were SO red.
We were really looking forward to the apple cider slushes, but they were in the process of making more when we were leaving and didn't want to wait around for them to freeze. Oh well. I suppose I can wait until next year!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Happy 3rd Birthday, Corley!

Today we went to Legacy Play Village for Corley's 3rd birthday party! She is one of the sweetest, most beautiful little girls I have ever met. Corley's mom, Stacey, works with me at the gym, and she is also Sarah Jane's teacher at preschool! I love them!

Birthday girl!
Harper entertaining us
Corley with her monster cake

Sweet friends having some cupcakes

Sweet girl!
Opening the dress up trunk from Harper!
Corley, thank you so much for inviting us to your birthday party! I hope you enjoy the lip gloss. ;)