Wednesday, March 30, 2011

One year ago

How is the world can it be a year since my Dad passed away? It seems not so long ago but when I think about it, he missed so much in the past year. I believe in Heaven, obviously, but what does he really see? I like to think he was there for the birth of his 6th grandchild, Sarah Jane, Harper's first birthday and first steps, Landon's first t-ball game, Jordyn cheering at the football games, Riley's third birthday party, Charlie's crazy conversations....You see where I'm going with this.

I miss him so much it hurts. Growing up, he missed out on a lot of stuff. We didn't know it then, but he suffered from PTSD which he masked with alcohol. My siblings are the ones who got the short end of the stick, though. See, with me being the youngest, I got to experience the real "Dad" since I was the only one left at home. While I was in high school, he finally realized that some things needed to change. He started to get more involved in our lives. He wouldn't miss my volleyball and basketball games for the world. It didn't matter how far he had to drive, he was there.

Years went on and Dad started having some health issues. It started with congestive heart failure and rheumatoid arthritis and things just kept piling up...diabetes, Parkinson's, and the PTSD was getting worse. When Mom and Dad came to Lubbock for Harper's birth, he was in pretty bad. Right after she was born, they ended up leaving because I couldn't handle seeing my dad so sick AND try to care for a newborn. A few days later, Dad was admitted and ended up in ICU. Around Thanksgiving of 2009, he had signed a complete DNR, and we were preparing to say our final goodbyes. But Dad wasn't ready to die! He even told the people driving him home from the ambulance this. :) He was sent home under hospice care shortly after Thanksgiving. Mom and Dad spent those next four months soaking in every moment. The night before he died, they even went on a date in Austin for dinner and a movie. The day he passed away, he just started having some difficulty breathing. His heart just couldn't keep up. He passed away with my mom by his side, holding his hand on the night of March 26, 2010.

So this past weekend, my friend Gerianne, Harper, and I drove to my mom's for some quality family time! We got to her house Thursday night, went to San Antonio (went to the zoo and visited my dad, went by my grandma's house), spent the night, made it to my nephew, Landon's t-ball game in Bastrop, drove back to La Grange, church on Sunday, spent the night in Austin Sunday night, then drove back to Lubbock on Monday. Wow, that made me tired just remembering all we did! It was a great weekend, but I think I need a vacation just to sleep and recover from my vacation!
First stop was the zoo! Jordyn got to leave school early on Friday to join us there. :)
I'm super smart and forgot Harper's stroller for the trip, so we had to rent one at the zoo.

We left some pretty flowers and a "Happy Birthday" balloon for my dad.
This may sound creepy to some, but I LOVE national cemeteries!
T-ball is seriously the most entertaining sport to watch.
He made 2 runs! I was so proud of him!
We made a stop at the 0utlets in R0und R0ck. So what if I bought Harper her 6th pair of C0nverse?!
Just riding on Buzz's spaceship. No big deal.
Harper loved Hul@ Hut just as much as I do.
It was a little ridiculous to see how much luggage we had for 2 adults and a toddler.
Thank you, God, for portable DVD players.

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