There's a lot of things that have been weighing heavily on my heart lately. I find myself doubting God. A lot. I just can't wrap my head around WHY things happen the way they do. Why did my sister, one of the most kind, giving, loving, and christian women I know, have to get her boobs completely cut off today? Why do her 2 young kids have to go through the next few weeks watching their mom in horrific pain? Why do I have to go through SO many failed fertility cycles that end in complete heartache? Why did my best friend from childhood lose her baby boy at almost 21 weeks gestation? Why does one of my good friends have to suffer through constant physical pain, vomiting, and IV fluids on a daily basis for the rest of her life? I just don't understand. I pray. I believe in God. Yet I doubt His plan.