TTC Cycle 1 Update

CD 30: Negative hpt 10/08/11

CD 36: If hpt is still negative, stop progesterone 10/14/11

One of the reasons I debated whether to travel through our fertility journey for the whole world to see.....heartbreak. I prayed I wouldn't get emotional through this process, at least in the beginning knowing it look 18 months and 16 rounds of fertility medication to conceive Harper, yet I lay in bed (at 11:30am) not wanting to do anything. Part of me feels completely ridiculous. The rational part of my brain says "seriously it's only the first cycle!" But my heart still hurts. Bad. I sat in bible class this morning wishing it were different and hoping I could keep my game face on at least until I left the building. Poor Michael. He has to deal with an emotionally train-wrecked wife and take care of a hyper 2 year old. Then I feel even worse. It's a never-ending cycle.

Through all of this, I'm thankful for my loving family. I'm thankful for friends who text me just to say they are thinking of me and that I am loved. I'm thankful for a God who listens to me.